Celtic's Socialist Roots

 

 

Another Celtic AGM, another social media storm over the Celtic board. This year Lord Livingston of Parkhead and Ian Bankier are the focus of fans' anger, with many calling for Livingston to be removed from office for his support of Conservative policies, including the cutting of tax credits.

I always thought that Celtic began life as a Catholic, charitable organisation rather than a political one, but sensational new evidence has come to light which has caused me to re-evaluate my understanding of the nature of the club's foundation.

While undertaking research into the foundation of the club, I have uncovered stunning, hitherto forgotten documentation, that will throw new light on the club’s roots and turn the accepted narrative of what Celtic is all about on its head.

In the parish archives of St. Mary’s in the Carlton, I discovered minutes of the early meetings of the committee set up to form The Celtic Football and Athletic Club, excerpts from which I share below.

 

The first is of a meeting that took place in St Mary’s in March 1887, attended by Brother Walfrid, Brother Dorotheus, Dr John Conway, John Glass and Pat Welsh. This was one month after Hibernians' famous Scottish Cup Final triumph that inspired the Glasgow Irish to form a club of their own.

 

Resolution 1 reads as follows:

“That a football team will be formed to promote the redistribution of wealth and the attainment of class consciousness amongst the proletariat of Glasgow’s East End.”

This resolution was passed unanimously and it was agreed that Mr Glass would, through his contacts in the international socialist movement, approach Mr Friedrich Engels, late of London, with a view to assisting in the education of club members and the provision of educational materials.

Resolution 2 stated:

“That in order to facilitate the success of the new football club, it will be necessary to affect the appearance of a charitable, Catholic organisation, the proletariat of our parishes having not as yet attained the class consciousness necessary to abandon their deep-seated Catholic faith.”

Brothers Walfrid and Dorotheus are instructed to approach the filthy bourgeoisie, so-called "Archbishop" Eyre of Glasgow, to enlist his assistance in getting the venture up and running. Brother Walfrid noted that having Eyre as a Patron of the club would ensure the support of the Catholic clergy, who have for so long enabled the exploitation of the Proletariat in the interests of the Bourgeoisie pigs, and for their own nefarious ends.

Mr Welsh suggested that the Maley brothers of Cathcart, sons of a former British Army sergeant of his acquaintance, could provide useful cover in this regard. It was agreed he would approach both with a view to joining the new club.

Resolution 3:

“That the new football club supports, and will be actively engaged in agitating for, Home Rule for both Scotland and Ireland, this being the most effective way of achieving a socialist republic in both countries.”

This was the occasion of heated discussion, as Mr Welsh insisted that there should be no compromise with, or involvement in, the British political system and that a socialist republic could only come about as the result of revolution. Although Brother Dorotheus supported Welsh’s view, Dr Conway, along with Mr Glass and Brother Walfrid prevailed upon them the necessity of first attaining class consciousness before the revolution would be possible. “Cooler heads,” Dr Conway insisted, “will be necessary in this endeavour.”

Brother Walfrid insisted that infiltration of the parliamentary system and its destruction from within was the best course of action at this time.

Mr Welsh dissented, proclaiming vehemently that, “Man will not be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest!”

 

Resolution 4:

“That the new football club stands foursquare against any attempt by the international Zionist movement to establish a homeland for the Jewish people in Ottoman Palestine.”

This resolution again passed unanimously, all agreeing that the international Zionist banking system was the enemy of the Proletariat and that the rights of the native Muslim population of Palestine, who had occupied the land since pre-biblical times, should be protected against any and all reactionary imperialist forces.

While immigration is ordinarily desirable as a means of undermining nationalist feeling and promoting fraternity among the global Proletariat, this must not on any account be allowed in the Levant, where a Palestinian state must be established. The international Zionist movement must be opposed at every turn.

 

Resolution 5:

“That the new football club both supports and agitates for the redefinition of marriage to include same-sex couples.”

Dr Conway noted that marriage is the foundation of the family, which is the basis of the patriarchal system through which the Bourgeoisie exploits the Proletariat, by providing an enslaved class of women to look after the homes of men who are unbeknownst to them exploited in their turn by their Bourgeoisie employers.

Mr Glass proposed that by undermining the traditional family unit, the foundation of the entire bourgeoisie system could be undermined.

This resolution was not passed however, as Brothers Walfrid and Dorotheus, supported by Mr Welsh, felt that while it was a worthy aim, it was not yet an idea the Proletariat were ready to accept. Indeed, open campaigning on this issue could alienate a large portion of the priest-ridden, superstitious, lumpen Proletariat on whose support the new club would depend. Their counter-proposal, that the new football club support the idea of same-sex marriage but await the attainment of class consciousness before actively promoting said idea, was unanimously accepted.




The next meeting of the committee for the establishment of a football club will be held in St Mary's, Carlton on 1st April 1887. Agenda to include discussion of possible names for the new club (Dr Conway has expressed a preference for "The Carlton Comrades Football and Athletic Club"), and a campaign to raise awareness of the struggles of the proletariat of the island of Cuba under the imperialist yolk of Spanish oppression.


It was agreed to defer approaching footballers to join the new club at the present time, due to the difficulties in ascertaining the political beliefs of the leading players of Glasgow and its suburbs, and as the vexed question of whether or not non-socialists, bourgeoisie exploiters of the proletariat, Zionists or Kerrymen can play, has yet to be decided upon.

 

Meeting adjourned at 10.05pm, with a rendition of “The Red Flag” and a toast to the memory of Mr Karl Marx.

 

I have shown this evidence to Celtic historians, who have dismissed the minutes as an obvious 21^st Century hoax, but I can't help feeling that they certainly do ring true.

The Catholic and charitable nature of the new Celtic Football and Athletic Club formed in 1887 was clearly a socialist front, designed to win support for the new political venture from the immigrant Catholic Irish of Glasgow’s East End.

When next you hear that Celtic is not a political organisation, or that it should not be used as a vehicle to promote political ideas, remember that there is no doubt the founders of our club would have been against the cutting of tax credits and therefore Tories have no place in our great club.

We are a club open to all (except bigots, imperialists, racists, Unionists, homophobes, Islamophobes, Zionists and fascists), the definitions of which will be decided by The Right-on Leftist Coalition of Celtic Supporters Clubs for the Liberation of Occupied Palestine.

Tory scum out!